Toxic Encounters
by wally4ever
Summary: Tonks visits Remus... in a rather interesting attire. Oneshot


Toxic Encounters  
By wally4ever

A One-Shot

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Tonks leaned toward her bathroom mirror applying dark blue eye shadow. She stood away from the mirror and fluttered her eyes. She took out some lipstick and smacked her lips when it was covered. She placed one hand on her hips and the other she flicked out while winking.

"Peaches," said a painting of a fisherman getting ready to throw his net into the sea. "May I make some comments?"

Tonks shrugged. "If you want."

The fisherman nodded. "Well, your make-up makes you look like a saloon girl, and your hair is just ghastly. You are basically in your under garments, and your high heels are clear, which makes it seem to belong in a strip club," he paused, waiting for Tonks to say something. Tonks just looked at him. "You look like a slut."

Tonks smiled. "And that, my lovely painting, is the point. I'm out to seduce."

The painting looked taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well," Tonks laughed. "I'm going to seduce someone. You know, sexual advances on someone without them knowing before hand, if you know what I mean."

The painting looked flustered. "But why on earth would you wish to do that?"

"You don't get out much, do you?" Tonks asked.

"I'm a painting," the fisherman stated.

Tonks shrugged. "If you're good, I could get a girl painting. You know a little _girlfriend_."

The fisherman looked appalled. "I say not. I do not need a 'girl painting' in my room."

"Blondes, red heads, or brunettes?"

"Just go seduce whoever it is you are going to seduce," the painting said, waving a hand quickly.

Tonks smiled. "I will."

Tonks blew the painting a kiss before promising a new painting in the bathroom and leaving the room. She went through a mental check list in her head and looked down at her outfit. The fisherman was right. She looked like the kind of girl mothers never wanted their sons to meet. She was going to enjoy seducing. A grin broke out on her face.

The dress she was in was a skin tight, black leather dress, and her high heals were nearly impossible to walk in and a death trip for a clumsy metamorphous. Her dress had no sleeves or halter, and Tonks found her self having to tug it up every now and then or else she'd be in the nude. Tonks looked down at her legs. The dress went just bellow her bum. Her ankles shook from stress due to the long heel on Tonks's shoes. Tonks rushed to her bed and she sat down.

Tonks blew a stray hair away from her face. "It is a time like this one that I wish I knew a 'walk in high heels better' charm."

------

Remus's headache was beyond sleep it off. Remus didn't even know when it began . . . it just happened. It felt like someone shot him in the head, but he couldn't die. It got to Remus so bad, that he couldn't think of any spells to make the pain lessen. The other week, Tonks was over at his tiny flat and demanded he had Muggle medicines because they work well. Mainly to shut her up, he got Advil Extra Strength.

Remus took a couple pills. Then he put them in front him just to save the extra feet yards he'd have to walk a few hours later to get them again.

He felt somewhat tipsy and didn't have enough muscle power to move much.

He shouldn't have gotten the Extra Strength.

Remus hunched his back over his dingy folded out card table and rubbed his eyes as he went over his work for the Order. They needed a new hide out, and wanted to manage their cash just in case it was needed. Remus was the only one who was smart enough for the job of counting the galleons and sickles and knuts. Remus ran a hand through his hair. His hair stuck up; spiky only on one side of his face since his other hand was busy adding up the money.

He looked like he just fell out of bed. Not to mention he hadn't shaved in a while.

If someone called Remus's new found facial hair five o'clock shadow, they should be mocked until the end of eternity. Yet, if someone called it a beard, they should be spanked mercilessly. Remus liked to call it the Fifth Beard in his head. Yep, that's what he had, the Fifth Beard. Remus tried not to cry when he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

And he couldn't blame it on the full moon because there wasn't another until three weeks. Bugger.

Remus cried out in frustration. He miss counted a sickle for a galleon. How that happened, Remus didn't know. One was gold, the other silver. Remus thought he would have caught onto that, but nope, he _counted it with _thegalleons!

Remus banged his head on the table. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! Oh!" Remus stopped and gripped his forehead. "Stupid!" he groaned.

Remus pushed out from his chair and looked at all the money he had to count. "I wish we had a Gringotts account," he muttered. Remus walked into his bathroom and went to the sink. He looked into his reflection and grimaced before looking down at the sink to wash his hands. Remus splashed some water into his face and rubbed some cold water on his neck. Remus felt new, fresh, reborn.

Remus looked up and gazed into his mirror just incase his Fifth Beard had disappeared and he froze. His eyes became the size of golf balls and he nearly screamed. There was another reflection in his mirror! Remus turned sharply around, and nearly fainted. "N-Nymphadora?"

-------

Tonks smiled coolly and looked him up and down slowly. She had to contain herself so she wouldn't break out in a school girl giggle as she saw him shift uncomfortably from her stare. She felt very powerful. She walked over to him on newly metamorphic long legs.

She pressed herself against him and she could feel his uneasy breath on her lips. "Wotcher, Remus," she purred, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. "How do you do?"

She pulled away before he could answer, and walked slowly out the bathroom swaying her hips from side to side. She heard a faint, "alright," and smiled.

She looked over at the card table Remus was at before and frowned. "So, what were you doing before I got here?" she asked and walked straight for the couch, sitting down with her legs crossed and arms placed on the head rest of the couch. "Hmm?"

Remus gulped. "Nymph-Nymph, N-Nympha--"

"Remus," Tonks laughed holding a hand up to silence. "Please, it is Tonks."

Remus nodded as if it were the first time he was told to call her that. "Um, T-Tonks, your-your outfit!" Remus squawked.

Tonks looked down at her self and flicked her wrist. "Oh, you mean this old thing? I got it as a Christmas gift a few years back."

Remus paled and opened his mouth to say something, but shut it quickly. Remus paused and took a seat at the card table. "My head hurts," he muttered.

Tonks smiled. "Of course it does, why else would you have Advil on that table," Tonks said gesturing just in front of Remus. Remus seemed to be just acknowledging its existence on the table right then. He looked flustered and nodded back at Tonks absently.

"Um, T-Tonks," Remus said refusing to look at her. "Um, why are you, uh, he-here?"

Tonks smiled and stood up. She walked over to him slowly and leaned down so he could see her cleavage as she talked to him. Tonks felt her lips tug as she saw his eyes flicker down at her and then catch his hand hurting his leg as if for punishment because of looking down her dress. Tonks tugged her dress up, making her breasts move. Remus took in a deep slow breath.

"Why," Tonks said. "I'm seducing you, of course. Is it working?"

-------

Remus officially hated girls. They were evil and had no place in society. They should be kept underground and only be used for breeding. The impregnated ones will be kept in a nursery to take care of their young, and then back down they'll go! Besides, girls did mean things to boys like him. Nymphadora especially.

Remus looked down at his hands on his lap, and then at the money for the Order spread around the card table. Maybe if he counted the money, she'd leave . . . eventually. Nymphadora pulled out a chair and sat down right next to him. Remus felt his stomach churn.

He was afraid of a girl

He could die.

Nymphadora reached over the table and picked up a galleon. "So, what's all this for?"

Remus tried to act calm and rational. "Order money," he said. Remus grimaced. That sounded too high pitched for his taste. He heard Nymphadora laugh and, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her lean back, but purposely brushing her bare arm against his. Remus licked his lips nervously.

"You look awful," Nymphadora said sounding concerned. She placed a hand on his knee and Remus felt sweat on his forehead. "Do you feel alright?"

Remus nodded, only it was more of a violent jerk. Nymphadora placed her hand off his knee, smiling.

"Do you need help?" she asked innocently, looking at him. It wouldn't have bothered Remus if she had asked him that question at any other time, but her dress was slipping and he was still some-what human. Remus tried to stuff his boyish thoughts of doing something to her that was completely inappropriate to the back of his head.

"I take that as a no?" she said.

Remus nodded his head.

"Now, it that a 'yes' no, or a 'no' no?" Nymphadora said slowly. Remus gapped and Nymphadora placed her hand back on his knee, and rubbed it with her thumb. "Remus, are you alright?"

Remus turned to look at her. Whatever expression he had on his face, it seemed to make her happy. A huge grin spread on her face from ear to ear.

-------

Tonks felt like kissing him so bad right then. He looked like he'd rather her to leave, but come back with sensible clothes. Tonks giggled. "You're funny."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

Tonks smiled playfully and slapped him on the shoulder. "I said,"

Tonks replied. "You're funny."

Remus nodded slowly and then down to his lap. Tonks cocked her head so it was almost touching his. "Watcha lookin' at?" Tonks said.

Remus shot up. His chair tipped back and Tonks screamed. Remus waved his arms around, and Tonks caught his hand. Remus's chair became unbalanced and he tumbled down, Tonks coming with him.

"Ow, ow," Tonks said rubbing her bum. "Bugger, ouch."

Remus rubbed his head and groaned. "That's your fault."

Tonks glared at him. "Why is that?"

"If you hadn't scared me," Remus said as if it were obvious, "we wouldn't be here."

Tonks suddenly realized what here was. Here was both of their legs tangled, one of Remus's hands around Tonks's right arm, and Tonks's free hand touching the top of Remus's head. The messy side of Remus's head seemed to have flattened partially.

Tonks blushed and went to get up, but Remus's hand held on firmly to her arm. She looked him into his eyes. "What?" This whole moment seemed like some scene from a corny girl movie.

Remus smiled boyishly. "If you _are_ seducing me, why are you running away?"

Tonks stared at him in awe. "But you aren't moving, so I just—"

"Exactly," Remus said. "I'm not moving."

Tonks nodded. "That's just what I said. You aren't moving, so _I_'m moving for you—"

"Nymphadora, just be quiet." Tonks looked at him confused. "I'm not moving, because I don't want to." He paused to wait for her to make a comment. "I don't want to move because you seduced me into wanting you on me."

Tonks blinked.

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "Maybe this will help a bit," and he kissed her.

-------

"Mister Fisherman!" Tonks yelled into her flat. "Oh, Mister Fisherman!" Tonks rushed to the bathroom.

"What?" the fisherman painting said, cutting up some fish he had caught.

Tonks smiled. "Guess!"

The fisherman rolled his eyes. "You've learned how to spell?"

Tonks shook her head. "Nope, guess again."

The fisherman shrugged. "I don't know, wh--"

Tonks placed a painting in front of him. "Do you like? She's a ballerina."

The fisherman stared at the ballerina in awe. She was leaping around her frame, occasionally sneaking a glance at him. The fisherman looked down at his bloody hands and patted them on his pants. "Hello, miss, you happen to be very talented with dance. I myself have tried to dance a little, but--"

The ballerina giggled and Tonks smiled. The fisherman looked confused. "What?"

"You're funny," the ballerina said.

The fisherman just stared at her. "Excuse me?"

Tonks was starting to get a horrible case of déjà vu.

"I said," the ballerina rolled her eyes. "You're funny."

The fisherman looked down at his still bloody hands.

Tonks placed the ballerina on the wall next to the fisherman. She exited the room smiled to herself as she heard the fisherman try charm the ballerina.

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AN: Humph, I don't know if I liked this one. I don't know, maybe it is just me. I feel like I could have done more. Though, I love Remus in this. Very . . . "I _so _want you, yet I'm going to play hard to get for a short bit." (giggles) Also, sorry if you didn't like the thing at the end with the fisherman and the ballerina. I thought it was cute, but . . . I don't really count, do I?

Also, I have written the sequel for Don't Kill... and it should be up soon (meaning by November something...don't kill me). I was going to put Don't Kill... on but they wouldn't accept it because they thought that Marcus's crush on Tonks as disgusting and Remus was committing child abuse by wanting revenge on Marcus. Oh, well, excepts sarcasm.

Love, Amanda


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